A Merry Christmas

There are a lot of reasons that I knew this Christmas would be rough. In a way it was. Up until Christmas Eve I was on the verge of tears for about a week straight because, as busy as I tried to stay, I couldn't keep thoughts of what it would have been like out of my ,ind. I kept thinking about my big belly and being totally miserable about to pop. I wonder what it would feel like to know that I would be giving birth to my sweet son in just a few short weeks. 

We also started trying to get pregnant in the first place right before Christmas. So that firs cycle that we tried I truly believed we could have a baby in our arms by Christmas 2011.

It's true that there were moments this season I cried for my son and the life I would have been living now. I also held on to hope that maybe next year we will be pregnant or holding our baby in our arms. Overall, though, we were blessed. The people in our life that have always been there continued to stand my us and hold us tightly and walk next to us through the rocky days. We were lucky enough to be with some of our favorite people and to be able to enjoy exchanging gifts and eating delicious food. We obviously miss a huge part of ourselves but we know how much worse things could be and we truly did have a wonderful Christmas.