5 Weeks Pregnant: Update

So I thought I'd start doing regular little updates to document my symptoms and feelings and experiences. I wish I had done more detailed updates with my first pregnancy so I'm going to make sure I do better this time around :]

Symptoms:
Shortness of breath, heaviness
Evening bloating, pants put pressure on pelvic area
Cramps/stretching feelings
Poor sleep, waking up early
I CAN'T STOP EATING
More frequent urination
Gas
Fatigue

So that has been how I have been feeling for the last week. Additionally I've been very optimistic and excited! I'm still not sure I'm feeling like I know where this is going to go, but I'm enjoying the right now and I am looking forward to growing bigger and making it further this time :]

TTC Baby Seidel # 2: Cycle 1- The Longest Weekend

Oh has it been a long weekend! Week, really. So here is the rundown on us finding out we are doctor-confirmed pregnant and that this pregnancy is viable.

So I get my beautiful positive pregnancy test Sunday afternoon. Of course as soon as I wake up in the morning on Monday I call the doctor. I made an appointment for 10:30 for my first blood draw. We scheduled my second draw for exactly 48 hours later on Wed morning. Wed morning after I left I met a friend for shopping and lunch. They called shortly after I left to let me know that my HCG was 18 (low, but it was low with Landon too) and my progesterone was high which is great. All that matters is that the HCG doubles around every 48 hours. If that doesn't happen the pregnancy is most likely not viable. So, I was not worried about my levels at all! I went to the restroom while we shopped and had very minimal, hardly noticeable spotting. This gave me only a little concern because I had it worse with Landon, it passed and things were fine. So on I went feeling pretty confident and happy that I was, at least for now, pregnant.

So I should have gotten my second draw results by Friday. Note I said should I called Friday and discovered that the lab had not yet sent them back or entered the results into the computer. The nurse said that if they got them she would call before they leave but, if not, Monday it is.

So it's Monday! I called this morning and discovered that the lab had STILL not returned my results! The same nurse from Friday, who was very understanding, went off to track them down. About 3 hours later a different nurse called with my results! My magic number was 36- that's where my HCG needed to be. It was 47! My progesterone was low so the doctor called in a progesterone supplement for me to be on for the first 14 weeks of pregnancy (10 more weeks of progesterone!). I was able to pick it up at a pharmacy here in town. We also scheduled my first appointment! March 30th we will go see our little firefly! I am over the moon and so excited!!! I can't wait to share all of this with all of you and am excited that we will share with my parents this weekend!

TTC Baby Seidel #2- Cycle 1- 12dpo/CD27: SUCCESS!!

Well I have likely done an announcement post by this time and you are just catching up on how we got here. Today we got a positive pregnancy test! So here is how it all happened. We took Clomid days 3-7 and timed intercourse. I was very optimistic and then, around 8dpo (days past ovulation) was very discouraged. As you've read, I found out on 8dpo with Landon so when it was negative that day, although it was early, I was sure I was out. The following few days I was going absolutely crazy. I felt desperate and disappointed and obsessed with being pregnant or not being pregnant. I can look back now and say it's because I just knew that I was or should be and seeing that I wasn't was completely devastating. I was having major ups and downs. Last night we stayed at my parents' house. As I woke up to toss and turn through the night (deflating air mattress!) I just felt very confident and very pregnant. I was peaceful and happy. I was going to wait until tomorrow morning to test but I tested when we got home and I'm so glad I did. We are over the moon and waiting for the next steps. I will call in the morning and likely go for blood work so that we can monitor my HCG levels. Here are some pics until I have more information.

Taken Saturday early morning/11 dpo. It looks more positive in the picture than it did in person, I did not believe this was a true positive.

Our bright and shining positive! Sunday afternoon/12dpo!

TTC Baby Seidel #2- Cycle 1, Day 22

I have to admit that I am feeling discouraged today. It is only 7 dpo. I found out at 8dpo with Landon which was still incredibly early. There is no reason to believe that I am not pregnant- I had no symptoms leading up to finding out with Landon, and only had a terrible head cold and fatigue for the first weeks after the positive test. We know exactly when I ovulated, we had the extra boost of Clomid, and we timed everything just right, so really, why wouldn't I be pregnant? But after trying for three years with Landon, it seems like that would be too easy. I've gone from being excited for all the good juju to being nervous that it is all jinxed now. What I know for sure is that people shouldn't have to suffer infertility and they shouldn't have to suffer miscarriages but to have to suffer both is absolutely beyond comprehension. I tried for years, I finally felt the relief of expectation, I lost my child and now I am back to trying and not knowing if it will ever happen again. Instead of feeling like we know I can get pregnant, I tend to think that that may have been our one shot.

And then I'm typing this and a Johnson & Johnson's commercial comes on and I find a little hope in myself. This journey is indescribable, that is for sure. The emotional roller coaster that comes with it the knowledge of the true "end game" is both haunting and inspiring.

I am on day 22. In another week or so, I should know for sure if I am carrying life inside of me. And all of my heart and soul hopes that the answer will be yes, and that we can move on to the next tiresome and awesome part of this journey- doing all we can to make sure that this next baby comes home happy and healthy.

Good Juju- March 1, 2015, 6dpo Cycle 1

This entry will be short and sweet. I just have to share the mass amounts of good juju that I am basking in this cycle! My own optimism aside, I have the prayers of friends, family, and friends of family and family and friends of friends haha. I am feeling so encouraged and I just know in my heart that little fertilized-egg-baby-Seidel-#2 is burrowing in deep right now! Today I got a message from my gramma, just checking in. I told her about an article that I read about how it's beneficial for the cognitive abilities for grandparents to babysit. I am the only grandchild that doesn't have children yet, and my gramma babysits a lot! She let me know that she is very ready to take on more babies haha. This was actually pleasantly surprising because she was deeply impacted by the loss of Landon. Not 30 minutes later my mom called and straight-out asked if I was pregnant. She hadn't heard from me much lately ( I haven't called because I don't want to give too many details away about seeing the doctor and that's all I really have to share, since I'm fairly consumed with becoming pregnant) and when I was pregnant with Landon we hardly talked because I couldn't talk to her without giving it away! She couldn't wait so she just had to ask haha. I felt like those two conversations so closely together were just further signs that this will absolutely be our cycle! fertilized-egg-baby-Seidel-#2 is already so loved and wanted!

Happy Memories

I have just been having a day of happy memories. It's brought me to the conclusion that my last week with Landon was wonderful! I was loving that my belly was looking more round than flabby. I was definitely feeling kicks. I was exhausted from sitting up because I had started watching Supernatural on Netflix and had moved the ottoman right in front of the TV. I had the sewing machine set up in front of me on a TV tray and had finished (girl-themed, thanks to a terrible ultrasound tech) curtains, a bed skirt, some burp cloths and a nursing cover. I don't remember what we did on Saturday but I know on Sunday we went to the watering hole for the very first time in my life and had a great time! our friends floated me around the river and we sat in the pool and we had an absolutely fabulous time. On the way to the watering hole we stopped at a gas station and the cashier told me I looked like I was going to pop any day. I was 18 weeks 5 days. Needless to say, we won't go back to that place during our next pregnancy! But anyways, the 19 weeks we had Landon in our lives were absolutely spectacular and while I do grieve him and miss him and get upset about the time we don't have, it's important to acknowledge that we were incredibly blessed and that I wouldn't change it for the world!